It’s important to not allow everyone to speak into your life.
Don’t take in what everyone says to you. Consider both the message and the source. Don’t give everyone permission to speak into your life. Sometimes the words people speak can be powerful catapulting you to the next level. The words can be awe-inspiring and motivational. Other times, the words can cause you to question yourself and the decisions you have made for your life. The words can have a negative effect and send you into a downward spiral.
I remember an associate told me what her friends had been saying about me. I had to shut the conversation down immediately. I knew that she and her friends were not people who I respected or admired to consider their opinions of me. It wasn’t that I thought they were beneath me, I just didn’t feel that they had a vested interest in my success. I knew they were a little intimidated by my position in their circle. I entered their world and I had a previous history with their leader and a connection that went back years. In their minds, the favor and relationship that I had with their leader posed a threat to their position. They didn’t understand that I am a loner by nature.
Although I had history with the leader, we were not as close as they perceived. So, when they attacked my character, I knew who I was and I knew that what they were saying wasn’t true. I sincerely believed the comments were coming from their own insecurities and they were attempting to project their insecurities on me. I was able to not take in what they were saying and allow it to affect me, but also to distance myself from those types of people. I was able to remain cordial, while not allowing their opinions to impact me and damage myself or the relationships they were attacking.
Imagine how I felt when I received a phone call months later apologizing for the comments and questioning whether we could build a friendship. Along the same lines, I met someone of whom I tremendously respected. During a disagreement, there were some negative comments that were said, which contradicted all of the positive comments the person had just made regarding me the day before. Which comments was I to believe – the positive words spoken when everything was good or the negative words spoken in anger? Were you flattering before to get what you wanted or were you speaking truth in anger because the scheme didn’t work? How do you really feel about me? The point I want to get across is that you cannot always take in what someone is saying and allow it to impact who you are.
Question: What has someone said that you need to shake off? What can you do or say when people begin to speak negatively in your life without your permission? You can leave a comment by clicking here.