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You teach people how to treat you.

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You teach people how to treat you. Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option. ~Dr. Maya Angelou How many times do we make someone a priority that makes us an option?  We are all guilty of it.  We answer when they call, aid in their rescue, adjust our lives, schedules, and priorities to be there for them when they need us.  Yet, if we need something from them or when we need them, they are never willing or in a position to help.  We have made them and their needs a priority and they have made us an option.  We help them, sacrifice for them, and we are their “Ride or Die Friends”, but yet we never receive the same consideration from them. We are left frustrated, hurt, and feeling rejected and abandoned, when we should simply understand the roles, which we play in each other’s lives. In reality, we teach people how to treat us.  For years, we have heard treat others the way you want to be treated and while that is great, we never hear the flip side of it, which is everyone isn’t taught the same thing.  Treating others how we want to be treated can leave us vulnerable and with unrealistic expectations of others.  I have been there to give others a place to stay when they didn’t have one, to help others move at the last minute, to write resumes at the last minute when I was exhausted, to give solid advice based upon wisdom, to be the shoulder to lean on.   All of that was great – as long as I was the one giving and making them a priority.  What happened when I needed the shoulder to cry on?  The same people I made a priority were the same people who had other priorities and were now too busy.  My feelings were hurt.  I had to learn to modify my expectations of others.  It wouldn’t be easy because I truly believed that friends showed up.  Friends helped when they didn’t want to.  Friends helped when it was not convenient.  I had to understand that I expected associates to be real friends.  It was not fair of me to have wrongly categorized others and placed them in a category where they should not have been.  It was my lesson to learn that I chose to invest precious time in the undeserving and the unfaithful.  I chose to make people a priority when they made me an option.  Once I understood the impact of my choice, I caught the revelation that my life had value.  I mattered and I would not allow anyone to disrespect God’s creation.  He created me and He did not create me to be used or abused.  He created me to add value.  It was up to me to determine who needed the value I had to offer and to use all of my resources wisely.  I consciously decided I would be available for others who made me an option, when it was not at an inconvenience to me.  They did not have the power to change me to become a selfish individual.  It would be very interesting when the people who had repeatedly not been there for me would tell me I had changed when I couldn’t be there for them.   They were right I had changed.  I learned to value myself.  How freeing… Question:  Who are you making a priority when they are showing you that you are an option to them?  Maybe, it’s time to adjust your priorities.